July 26th,2013

Dear Lover,

 Copying my tumblr post. Really deep from my heart:

Honestly, my hearts been a bit heavy for a while for various reasons.  God’s been convicting me of how much of a sinful nature i have. This conversation I had with my dad this morning is just one example of how Gods been working in my life. 

Me: Yeah X always complains about everything and blah blah blah and its just really hard to be a friend to X. 

Silence

Dad: You know, you complain to your mom and I quite often about a lot too..

Do I ? I must complain and grumble about all the work I am,and increase my self worth as if a group effort won’t go on without me. It seems like I catch myself complaining when I’m already halfway through.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?

Matthew 7:3 

Do everything without grumbling or arguing 

Phillipians 2:14

I know i sounded really judgmental in my above statement, and its not an excuse for me ( cause hey what do you know.. I’m complaining about someone else complaining making me equally as guilty haha)  but sometimes you just get fed up and lose it. I’m sure every person knows that feeling when on this day everything just goes wrong and then someone comes up to you and you just lose it. Its like the last straw. Its not even intentional, or an immediate response to a perception, its just when everything builds up over time.

Heavenly father please forgive me and teach me what it means to love unconditionally. Though I’ve constantly fallen short of your glory, you never get fed up with me so why should  I get fed up with someone else because they happened to catch me on a blah day? You are never quick to judge but rather there to support me when tears stream down my face. Why should I love conditionally when you have shown me unconditional love. 

July 22nd, 2013

Dear Lover,

 Hm. I don’t really know what to write to you today. haha. Well Kate Middleton’s baby is born today. Prince william and her baby after 14 hours of labor.   I think nature is amazing. How everything is by design. From a babys first conception. 

 

July 21st, 2013

Dear Lover,

    Its been an interesting last few weeks. I’ve had people tell me things that I guess in sense are compliments. I had a really close friend tell me that I’m very pure.At first I was confused about what that meant, but it dawned on me that in essence its a very big compliment.  I’m very pure, genuine and sincere. 

July 19th, 2013

Dear Lover,

 No work today. Got to relax and sleep in till 9:30. I’ve been thinking about my interest. I wonder if they’re motivated by peoples praises at what I’m good at. I’ve always wanted to try a million things, but then I’ve never had persistance and patience. Right now I’m really praying for patience to pursue things. Cause I believe God gave me some talents, but I need patience to practice and extrapolate it =)