July 26th,2013

Dear Lover,

 Copying my tumblr post. Really deep from my heart:

Honestly, my hearts been a bit heavy for a while for various reasons.  God’s been convicting me of how much of a sinful nature i have. This conversation I had with my dad this morning is just one example of how Gods been working in my life. 

Me: Yeah X always complains about everything and blah blah blah and its just really hard to be a friend to X. 

Silence

Dad: You know, you complain to your mom and I quite often about a lot too..

Do I ? I must complain and grumble about all the work I am,and increase my self worth as if a group effort won’t go on without me. It seems like I catch myself complaining when I’m already halfway through.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?

Matthew 7:3 

Do everything without grumbling or arguing 

Phillipians 2:14

I know i sounded really judgmental in my above statement, and its not an excuse for me ( cause hey what do you know.. I’m complaining about someone else complaining making me equally as guilty haha)  but sometimes you just get fed up and lose it. I’m sure every person knows that feeling when on this day everything just goes wrong and then someone comes up to you and you just lose it. Its like the last straw. Its not even intentional, or an immediate response to a perception, its just when everything builds up over time.

Heavenly father please forgive me and teach me what it means to love unconditionally. Though I’ve constantly fallen short of your glory, you never get fed up with me so why should  I get fed up with someone else because they happened to catch me on a blah day? You are never quick to judge but rather there to support me when tears stream down my face. Why should I love conditionally when you have shown me unconditional love. 

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