Dear Lover,
I wrote this on my tumblr. Its been things I’ve been struggling with. Its generic, but I’ve really been struggling with you. By the age of 20, a girl can’t help but wonder if shes beautiful enough to the world. She tries really hard not to ,but she gains her acceptance and idendity through the worlds approval. And by the world’s approval, it means having a boyfriend. It means wearing make up all the time. IT means not doing things society thinks is shame able. . It doesn’t mean holding and guarding your heart for the one true and righteous. So I’ve been waiting for you. But it hasn’t been a picnic every day either. My heart yearns to know who you are stronger and stroneg each day. But i Have to learn to trust in God and find my idendity in him.
I thought I had it all planned out before going to college. I was going to achieve this by this date and obtain this by this date .Looking back at the last two years, I have to laugh.I have a whole page in my diary listing all of the things I was going to accomplish. And guess what ? I’ve accomplished NONE of the things I planned and plotted to do.Surprisingly I’m okay with that for the first time in my life. Instead, I’ve accomplished more. But all of these things were things I would have never dreamed would have happened to me /accomplish.
I still struggle with waiting patiently for a few things to come along that I think I’m entitled to by the age of 20. But looking back, I’ve realized that I’ve been given a lot of blessings that I’ve taken for granted.
Instead of wanting certain things in life to move along faster, why not just let God write my story ? His story is infintely much more creative than what i thought i wanted or needed to have by the age of 20. So while I patiently wait for whats to come, I’m going to enjoy every moment of it. Instead of defining myself based on what I accomplish or what I have or don’t have, I’ve found myself , I’ve found my idendity in Christ. No more shall I try and fill my empty voids with shallow attempts of accomplishments.
Letters from the heart 